Cost of Revelation

There is no randomness, no coincidences in the presence. You don't have to have full understanding to align. You don't need all the answers. You have to be willing to be confused in order to have clarity. In His presence the cloud is thick, the cloud is dark. You won't see clearly, you just need to follow. You need to make a confession before there's clarity. You don't need clarity before making a confession. Revelation isn't the solution, it's an invitation. We are not looking for the solution, we are looking for the One who has the solution.  He only wants to give you a part, not the whole picture because He wants partnership. He doesn't want to give you everything because you'll run off and forget about Him.

The one with the greatest faith is the one who can carry the word even in confusion. We have a responsibility for revelation. If you wanna go, you gotta first leave. You can't go and stay at the same time. If you are longing for the olden days you are not going forward. You need to fully leave to fully go. If efficiency is your top value you can't go.

I know that I'm one who loves efficiency. I constantly need to remind myself that things do not always happen in my time. It's His plan, not mine.

Active waiting. Be excited to go in His presence every day. The one with the greatest faith is the one who can still wake up every day and believe even when they don't see anything. There will be opposition. Waiting is faith; waiting is fighting. It's not that you're going to make it happen, it's that you're holding onto Him.

You can begin wrong but end right. He is bigger than all your mistakes. The only way for you to fail is to make a mistake bigger than Him. He uses our mistakes as opportunities to save so don't be overwhelmed by your wrongdoings. Just hold onto Him. It's not about doing great things. At the end of the day your greatest prize is to have a relationship with Him, to see Him.

Seriously, aren't you happy that He is bigger than EVERYTHING? I'm so thankful that He is bigger than all of my mistakes. I am forgiven. I don't need to wallow in my sorrows. There is nothing I can do that will undo what He did for me. This amazes me.

Agents of Transformation

Having passion is not enough. Having the willingness to suffer is not enough. You need to be trained before you are ready to be an agent of transformation.

Start off by laying down your pride. Don't care about saving face or protecting your reputation. We will be challenged in this area over and over again. I know there have been times where I didn't want to admit I was wrong because I cared too much about my pride. This does nothing but destruct and everything could have been mended quickly if I just stepped down from my prideful pedestal.  Check yourself. You don't need to be doing things for the favour of people, so don't be afraid of being embarrassed. When you realize that things aren't about you and that you can't doing anything on your own, your faith will rise to a new level. He doesn't need us, but we need Him.

Training of our character. Many of us live double lives but we should just be ourselves all the time. Breakthrough your shame. Don't wear a mask. If we don't change our character, our actions or our attitude then people may not believe the words we say.

I think I've gotten better at bringing my personal life and spiritual life together but there could still be improvement. Sometimes I'm still hesitant to share my faith with people I don't know very well. Other times I don't want to share my personal life with people who share my faith. I'm afraid they will judge me. I don't want to explain things. But I need to remind myself that their judgement doesn't matter. I don't need to explain and I don't need to have everyone on my side. It's tiring having to put up a front with different groups of people. I'm human. It's okay to mess up so I shouldn't need to hide anything. Problems can't be fixed if they're never put out on the table. There should only be one side of me out in the open all the time, the real side. I'm the only one who can be the best me that I can be.

Sometimes we all need a little reconciliation to build up our relationships. When we reconcile with one another, there is unity and comfort. At times, all it takes is some explaining to fix hurt feelings or disagreements. Know each other's hearts.

Don't fear the lonely place. Don't fear hiddenness. Love this place because this is where you are being shaped with the utmost care. You are never forgotten. You are not walking alone. Don't give up. Once you are ready, you will not only be put forth to shine but you will be slingshotted. You must rely on Him 100%. Stop using your will to do things. Focus not on your own agenda, but His agenda.

I don't always enjoy being in the background. There are times where I want to stand out. But I need to be willing to let Him do the work. I need to step back and let Him perform the surgery, do the operation. I just need to be patient. It's going to be difficult at times; it's going to be dark; it's going to be lonely, but I won't give up. Apart from Him, I can't do anything.

The 7 Pillars

Unconditional acceptance is the foundation of healthy relationships. "You get to be you and I get to be me." "I accept that fact that I can't control you and you can't control me."

The 7 pillars:
1) Love
2) Honour
3) Self-control
4) Responsibility
5) Truth
6) Faith
7) Vision

Today I learned a whole new definition for many of these words. The two that stood out to me most were truth and self-control. Truth is a form of trust and the exchange of truth. Other people's character is not what controls my trust in them. I control my trust. Trusting someone doesn't mean that I can predict their behaviours. Trusting someone doesn't mean that I believe they will act as I would. Trust cannot be rooted in my desire for someone to be as much like me as possible. Truth cannot be exchanged if I'm too guarded, if I don't open up, if I am always protecting myself.

Self-control means that I cannot blame you for how I am behaving towards you. You are never in change of how I treat you; I am. If I change my love towards you, it is 100% my fault, my responsibility.  I can tell myself what to do and I can obey myself.

I am still trying to wrap my mind around these concepts and I see much room for improvement. It's difficult for me to trust, to open up, to show you what's really inside. I've always hated the feeling of being vulnerable. After I share something a little too personal with someone I don't know too well I feel icky inside. But how can I ever develop closer relationships if I don't let the other person see what's deep inside? How do you guard your heart and develop a intimate relationship at the same time? I want to learn how to balance. I want to learn how to be free inside. I will be careful not to blame others for my actions. I am responsible for everything I do. I am going to learn how to manage myself.

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.